“HIGH PERFORMANCE HABITS” summary by TEEB.LA (45pages)
Even though we are capable, many live in constant fear that they will fall behind or catastrophically fail to handle the demands of the next level of success. The world cares less about your strength and personality than about your service and meaningful contribution to others. High performance is not achieved by a specific kind of person, but rather by a specific set of practices, which are called the High-Performance Habits. You will learn that high performers outgrow their youthful need for certainty and replace it with curiosity and genuine self-confidence. The journey to greatness begins the moment our preferences for comfort and certainty are overruled by greater purpose that requires challenges and contributions.
High performers have masters six habits (HB6) that matter most in reaching and sustaining long-term success: clarity, energy, necessity, productivity, influence, and courage. You are not supposed to be innately good at the HB6. You must work at them all the time. If you have great ambitions to contribute extraordinary things, you’ll have to grow and stretch far beyond what’s natural to you. You should never wait to pursue a dream or add value out of fear that you lack the right stuff. It is the quest to challenge yourself to develop good habits that will make you feel enlivened and help you realize your full potential.
Habit one: SEEK CLARITY
Whether you have a high degree of clarity in life or not, don’t fret, because you can learn to develop it. You don’t have clarity, but you generate it. You generate clarity by asking questions, researching, trying new things, sorting through life’s opportunities, and sniffing out what’s right for you. It comes from asking yourself questions continually and further refining your perspective.
Envision the Future Four
High performers are clear on their intentions for themselves, their social world, their skills and their services to others. I call these areas, self, social, skills and services, or the Future Four.
High performers imagine a positive version of themselves in the future, and they actively engage in trying to be that. You should be more intentional who you want to become. Have vision beyond circumstances. Imagine your best future self and start acting like that person today.
- Describe how you have perceived yourself in the following situations over the past months- with your lover, friends, at work, in social situations with others.
- Now ask, “Is that who I really see myself being in the future?” How would my future self-look, feel, and behave differently in those situations?
- If you could describe yourself in just three aspirational words- words that would sum up who you are at your best in the future- what would those words be? Why are those words meaningful to you? Once you find your words, put them in your phone as an alarm label that goes off several times per day.
High performers have clear intentions about how they want to treat other people. They have thought about how they want to be remembered- they think about their character and legacy. High performers are looking out there, beyond today, beyond the meeting, beyond the months to-dos and obligations. They are consistently wondering: How do I want those I love and serve to remember me?
- Write down the person’s name in your immediate family and team.
- Imagine that in twenty years each person is describing why they love and respect you. If each person could say just three words to summarize the interactions they had with you in life, what would you want those three words to be?
- Next time you’re with each of these people, approach your time with them as an opportunity to demonstrate those three qualities. Have those words as the goal and start living into these qualities. Challenge yourself to be that person now. This will bring life back into your relationships.
High performers are working on skills that focus on their primary field of interest (PFI). They are not scattered learners. If you leave your growth to randomness, you’ll always live in the land of mediocrity. They are not learning as generalists but as specialists. Simply put they follow these rules; look to the future, identify key skills and obsessively develop these skills.
- Think about your PFI and write down three skills that make people successful in that field.
- Under each skill, write down what will you do to develop it. Will you read, practice, get a coach, go to a training? When? Set up a plan to develop those skills, put it in your calendar, and stay consistent.
- Now think about your PFI and write down three skills that you will need to succeed in that field five to ten years from now. In other words, try to imagine the future. What new skill set will you likely need then? Keep those skills on your radar and start developing them sooner rather than later.
High performers often speak of how all the extra efforts they make to wow people today are vitally important to leaving a lasting legacy tomorrow. They give extraordinary amount of thought to questions of service: how to add value, inspire those around them, and make a difference. They are in search for relevance, differentiation, and excellence.
- When I think about the Future Four- self, social, skill and service – her area that I haven’t had as much intention is:
- The areas in which I have been considering those I serve, and lead are:
- To leave a lasting legacy, the contributions I can start making are:
Under performers bumble into situations and allow those situations to define how they feel. Think of an emotion as mostly a reaction, and feeling is an interpretation. Before entering any performance situation, high performs contemplate how they want to feel regardless of what emotions might come up, and they envision how they want to feel leaving the situation regardless of what emotion might come up. The they exert self-control to achieve those intentions.
- The emotions I’ve been experiencing a lot of lately:
- The areas of life where I’m not having the feelings I want are:
- The feelings I want to experience more in life include:
- The next time I feel a negative emotion come up, the thing I’m going to say to myself is.
High performers want to know that their efforts align with something important, that their work is significant, and that their lives are creating a legacy and feeling a larger purpose. You need to bring more conscious and consistent thought to what you will find meaningful in life. When you first learn the difference between busywork and your life’s work, that’s the first step on the path of purpose.
- The activities that I currently do that bring me the most meaning are:
- The activities or projects that I should stop doing, because they are not bringing me any sense of meaning are:
- If I was going to add new activities that bring me more meaning, the first ones I would add would be:
You must have a vision for yourself in the future. You must discern how you want to feel and what will be meaningful to you. Without these practices, you have nothing to dream of and strive for, no pop and zest in your daily lie propelling you forward. Filling this clarity chart every week for 12 weeks to keep your focus. With greater focus come greater clarity, and with greater clarity will come more consistent action and, ultimately high performance.
Habit two: GENERATE ENERGY
I’ve heard this before. The someday-Ill-take-care-of-myself story. Even if you don’t burn out you will make a bad and abrupt decision one day. You quit or fail. You will realize your mind and body didn’t let you down; your choices did. Stress is the ultimate energy and well-being killer. It slows the production of new brain cells, reduces serotonin and dopamine (which are in critical to your mood), and fires up your amygdala while simultaneously decreasing hippocampus function- making you a frazzled person with decreased memory. You don’t have to wait for joy, motivation, love excitement, or any other positive emotion in life. You can choose to generate it, on demand, any time you want, through the power of habit. Energy means the full spectrum of mental, emotional, and physical vibrancy. It turns out that to make it to CEO, you must care about your energy as much as an NFL quarterback does, because it takes about the same level of energy.
List of transitions
The easiest and fastest way to increase energy is to master transitions. Our day comprise a series of transitions starting with the moment you wake up, you experience the transition from rest to activation. These transitions are immensely valuable- a powerful space of freedom between activities. Ant it’s in this space that you will discover the greatest restore and amplifier of energy. People usually carry over negative energy from one activity to the next, feel depleted but still plow into the next activity without break, and lose presence and appreciation. If you change the way you shift from one activity to the next, you can revitalize life and take control of your energy.
A list of transitions I experience during the day:
Release tension set intention
Use the following practice whenever you transition from one activity to another to release tension and set intention.
– Close your eyes for the next minute
– Repeat the word release in your mind over and over. As you do, command your body to release all the tension in your shoulder, in your neck, in your face and jaw. Focus on each part of the body, breathe deeply, and repeat the word lease in your mind.
– Set intention by thinking about what you want to feel and achieve in the next activity you’re about to take on when you open your eyes. What energy do I want to bring into this next activity? How can I do this next activity with excellence? How can I enjoy the process?
- Things that cause me the most amount of tension each day are:
- A way I could remind myself to release that tension throughout the day is:
- If I felt more energy each day, I would be more likely to:
- When I reset my energy each day with this practice, I’d like to start the next activity feeling:
You’re in charge of how you feel. Just as athletes do specific things to get themselves into the zone, high performers consciously cultivate joy. Anticipation can be just as powerful in releasing hormones such as dopamine, which makes you happy, as the actual positive event. High performer cultivate joy by how they think, what they focus on, and how they engage in and reflect their days. High performers tend to follow habits every day in order to stay in joyful state longer. They tend to:
– prime the emotions they want to experience, in advance of key events
-anticipate positive outcome from their actions
-imagine possible stressful situations and how their best self might gracefully handle them
-seek to insert appreciation, surprise, wonder, and challenge into their days
-steer social interactions towards positive emotions and experiences
-reflect regularly on that that they’re grateful for.
There are different triggers that you can use during the day to remind you to steer your social interactions towards positive emotions and experiences. Here are six of them you can use:
1. The notification trigger. Set the alarm three different time throughout the day with the text label to read BRING THE JOY.
2. The door frame rigger. Every time you walk through a doorway say to yourself “I will find the good in this room, I am entering this space a happy man ready to serve”
3. The waiting trigger. Whenever I am waiting in line to buy something I’m checking my emotional state, scoring it, and choosing whether its sufficient to how I want to feel and how I want to live my life.
4. The touch trigger. You can hug someone whenever you meet them which generates energy.
5. The gift trigger. Whenever something positive happens to me say: What a gift!
6. The stress trigger. Whenever things feel like they are getting out of hand, stand up, take two deep breaths, and ask: What’s the positive thing I can focus on and the next right action of integrity I should take now?
You can also compliment the triggers by keeping an evening journal where you write own three things that made you feel good during the day. Then take a few moments to close your eyes and actually relive them. There is perhaps no better way to increase ongoing happiness than to start a gratitude practice.
- Three questions I could ask myself every morning to prompt positive emotions for the rest of the day could be:
- Some new triggers I could set for myself include:
2.4 Optimize health
High performers are always improving their energy with physical movements and breathing patterns. Working out, eating healthy or mediation do not necessarily cost time. In fact, they often buy back making you more energized and productive. Exercise increases production of brain-derived neurotropic factor (BDNF). BDNF causes new neurons to grow in your hippocampus and other areas in your brain, creating increased plasticity and the ability to learn faster, remember more, improve overall rain function, and decrease stress. It increases production of norepinephrine, which helps you make fewer errors in mentally challenging tasks. Exercise also boosts serotonin production and improves sleep, which in turn produces more serotonin. Changing what people eat is easier than getting them to adopt entirely new habit of regular exercise. Work on your eating habits and set up good environment around you, where people re bout health.
- I want to get physically healthy as I can at this stage of my life because:
- If I was going to get in the best shape of my life, the first three things I would stop doing would be:
- The things I would start doing include:
- A weekly schedule that I could use to get healthier and actually stick to would be:
Habit three: RAISE NECESSITY
You don’t have to strive to live an extraordinary life. And yet, some people do feel they have to. Why? It’s because of performance necessity! No necessity, no consistent action. Necessity is the emotional drive that makes great performance a must instead of a preference. Unlike weaker desires that make you want to do something, necessity demands that you take action. There are four factors in performance necessity. Two internal ones: identity and obsession. Two external ones duty and urgency.
The internal forces are an internal guidance system that urges you to stay “who you are” and grow into your best self. They are forces that continuously shape and reshape your identity and behaviors throughout your life. Your personal standards of excellence and obsession with a topic are the most powerful in determining your ability to succeed over the long term.
The goal of all underperformers must be to set new standards, self-monitor more frequently. And learn to become comfortable with takin a hard, unflinching look at their own performance. People who set goals and regularly self-monitor are almost two and half times more likely to attain their goals. People who set difficult and specific goals outperform people who set vague and non-challenging goals.
People who become world-class at anything focus longer and harder on their craft. Their curiosity for understanding and mastering their primary field of interest is one of the hallmarks of their success. They also deeply understand that a degree of risk is inevitable and necessary should there be any real reward. Tet, any plunge into the unknow is reckless – but that’s where the treasure lies. The moment you know something has transcended being a passion and has become an obsession is when that something gets tied to your identity. When people are obsessed with something, they enjoy doing it so much that they don’t feel the need to apologize to others for it. That’s why I encourage people to keep experimenting in life until the find something that sparks unusual interest.
- The values that are important for me to live include:
- A recent situation where I didn’t live my values was:
- The reason I didn’t feel it necessary in that moment to live my values is:
- A recent situation in which I was proud of living my values or being a particular kind of person was:
- The reason I felt it necessary to be that kind of person then was:
- The topic I find myself obsessed with include:
- A topic I haven’t been obsessing about enough in a healthy way is:
An external force of necessary is any outside factor that drives you to perform well. They are not pushing you to performance: they’re pulling you. High performers often feel the necessary to perform well out of a sense of duty to someone or something beyond themselves. If you add to that accountability -when people know that you are responsible for helping the, – necessity becomes stronger yet. Their sense of duty or obligation to a higher vision, mission, or calling propels them through the hardships of achievement. Often, they sense that their performance now will affect their future and, perhaps, the future of a lot of people, in profound ways.
high performance only happens when there are real deadlines. A false deadline is usually a poorly conceived activity with a due date that is someone’s preference, not a true need with real consequences if it’s not met. Underperformers get pulled into fake urgencies or deadlines three and half times more often. High performers are more focused on doing what really matters when it matters.
3.2 Know who needs your A game
Being on you’re A game means that you are giving your best effort with full focus on the singular task at hand. In the game of life, you get to choose your identity-who you will aspire to be and how you’ll show up. Consider the difference between the following identities:
Dabblers: have a passing interest in many things and try many things. They never fully jump into anything with full engagement or commitment.
Novices: They jump deeper then dabblers but they don’t deal well with discouragement. Novices stop at obstacles because they don’t have much of their identity in the fight
Amateurs: They more interest and passion. They get through more obstacles than novices do, but they tend to remain at unskilled level unless they get fast and positive feedback or recognition. They need a lot of external validation to continue.
Players: They have passion but greater commitment, focus and skills. They excel and find themselves happy as long as they get their turn and get compensation. They don’t like disruption or negative feedback. They need a high degree of fairness if they’re going to participate.
High performers: They are all-in on the game. They play at a high level no matter what the recognition or rewards are, because the game is intrinsically rewarding and also part of how they view their service to the world. They stand out because they not only deliver exceptional individual performance, but also make every person better trough their influence. Look beyond your individual performance or feelings and connect with a reason to be your best for others.
- The people who need me on my A game at this point in my life are:
- The reason each of those people need me include:
- The reason I want to become a high performer for each of these people are:
- I know that I’m on my A game when I think, feel, or behave:
- The things that throw me off my A game are:
- I can deal more efficiently with those things by:
- A few reminders I could set up for myself to be my best for the people in my life could include:
Affirm the why
High performers don’t keep their goals, or the why behind those goals, secret or silent. They confidently affirm their goals to themselves and others. To affirm is to declare or strongly assert something is valid or true. It is saying with confidence that something is true and will happen. They are confident about their why but open about the how. They stay pen to better processes so that they identify new ways of getting ahead. High performers also talk to themselves out loud and remind themselves what is really important. When we verbalize something, it becomes more real and important to us. It becomes more necessary for us to live in alignment with that truth.
- Three things I would like to become extraordinary at doing are:
- My whys for becoming excellent in each of these areas are:
- The people I will tell about these goals and the whys behind them include:
- The things I can say out loud to myself to affirm these whys- my affirmations are:
- Some ways I can remind myself about these important goals and whys are:
3.4 Level up your squad
If you truly want to increase your performance in any area of your life, get around some new people who expect and value high performance. Expand your peer group to include more people who have greater experience or success than you. And spend more time with them. Research has consistently shown that people can rise above their cultural programming and influence if they have the right beliefs and strategy. The difference is how they think. This means that worth or without social support, you can sue your thoughts to improve your mind, mood, memory, reactions, happiness, and performance. So, before I tell you to improve your group don’t think for one second that you can’t improve your life on your own. Social support just makes personal development and overall life success easier, faster and more enjoyable.
High performers, in their personal lives, volunteer more, spend less time in negative or conflict-ridden relationships, and ask for help from their more successful pers more often than others do. Instead of getting rid of negative people in your lie, spend more time with your positive and successful peers and building a new positive peer group. You should also have two lifelong mentors, older, wiser, highly respected, successful people. These two mentors, one for life and another for specific domain expertise, will give you extraordinary perspective. You want to get around more successful people? Then earn your way into that party by becoming exceptional at what you do. When you become supremely skilled and successful at what you do, doors will open, and you’ll meet more and more extraordinary people.
- The most positive people in my life who I should hang out with more include:
- To add to the number of high performers in my network I should:
- Some new routines or get-together I could create to bring people together the positive and supportive people in my life could include:
Habit four: INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY
One of the worst feelings in the world is to be incredibly busy but feel that you’re not making any progress. The fundamentals of becoming more productive are setting goals and maintaining energy and focus. Energy is not only about sleep, nutrition, and exercise, but also about positive emotions. Keeping focus is not easy in the modern era. Information overwhelm, distractions and interruptions cause dire consequences in both our health and productivity. Distractions can slow your thinking by almost half according to some studies. Several studies have also shown that multitasking itself is a distraction. One interruption in your workday can throw off important and scheduled task by two to three hours.
The great mistake most people make is to think of work-life balance in terms of evenly distributed hours. Their expectation is a quantity expectation versus a quality expectation. Instead of trying to balance hours, try to balance happiness or progress in your major life arenas. Having a simple weekly review and looking at the larger picture can help us feel more in control, adjust course as needed, and find more balance.
For optimal productivity, you should not only take longer breaks- claim your vacation time!- but also give yourself intermittent breaks throughout the day. The ideal breakpoint is to stop your work and give your mind and body a break every forty-five to sixty minutes. In these breaks are not included checking e-mail, text, or social media. After 45-60 minutes, no matter what you’re working on, standout, move, breathe, set intention, and then return to your work. These few short-minute breaks buy you hours of added focus and effectiveness each day.
Increase the output that matters
High performers have mastered the art of prolific quality output (PQO). Other people spend eons of time on worthless activities. Real work isn’t replying to everyone’s false emergencies, shuffling papers, deleting junk e-mails, posturing to look good, or attending meetings. Real work is productive quality output that matters. The most common excuses are procrastination and perfectionism. Procrastination is really a motivational problem. It stems from working on things that don’t excite you, engage you, or matter to you. Perfectionism is just a delay logic fancied up to look respectable. These people don’t finish the work because they have rarely even begun, or they are got tangled up in doubt or distraction.
- The outputs that matter most to my career are:
- Somethings I could stop doing so I can focus more on PQO are:
- The percentage of my weekly time I will allocate to PQO is:
And the ways I will make that happen are:
Chart Your 5 moves
Having a plan and working through it step-by-step is more important than you think. A plan focusses scattered thinking. And finishing each vital task on your list fires dopamine in the brain, making you feel both rewarded and more motivated to continue. Think of the most ambitious dream you’d like to take on and ask yourself: if there were only 5 major moves to make that goal happen, what would they be? It doesn’t matter whether you know how to achieve your five moves first. The important thing is that for every major goal you have, you figure out the five moves. High performers can tell you what they’re working on and why that order, in exact detail. They can open their calendar and show you the blocks of time they’ve allocated to their major goals and projects. Don’t spend years on what could be done in months with better planning and more focused execution. Know your five moves!
- The biggest goal or dream I have that I need to plan out right now is:
- The 5 moves that would help me progressively towards accomplishing that dream are:
- The Timeline for each of my five moves will be:
- Five people who have achieved that dream who I could study, seek out, interview, or model are:
- The less important activities or bad habits I’m going to cut out of my schedule so that I can focus more time on the five moves in the next three months include:
Get insanely good at key skills
One principle lies at the heart of this effort: Everything is trainable. When people say, “ I can’t” it’s usually code for I am unwilling to do the long-term trait conditioning necessary to achieve that”. Repetition rarely leads to high performance. Progressive mastery is much more efficient 10 step method.
1. Determine a skill you want to master.
2. Set specific stretch goals on your path to developing that skill.
3. Attach high level of emotion and meaning to your journey and results
4. Identify the factors critical to success, and develop your strengths and weaknesses in those areas.
5.Develop visualizations that clearly imagine what success and failure look like.
6.Schedule challenging practices developed by experts or through careful thought
7.Measure your progress and get outside feedback.
8.Socialize your learning and efforts by practicing or competing with other.
9.Continue setting high-level goals so that you keep improving
10. Teach others what you are learning.
Progressive mastery involves getting a coach, challenging yourself beyond your comfort zones, developing a mental representations of what success should be, tracking your progress, and fixing your weaknesses. Progressive mastery places high emphasis on emotion, socialization, and teaching.
- Three skills I could develop that would help me feel more confident or capable are:
- The simple steps I could take to improve those skills include:
- The coaches or mentors I could seek out concerning those skills are:
Habit five: DEVELOP INFLUENCE
The only way to influence another person is to first relate with them and then help raise their ambition to think better, do better, or give more. People only like to work with leaders who make them think bigger and grow more. One thing that all leaders share is that they love a challenge, and deep down, they want to be role models.
One reason people struggle to gain influence in their personal and professional lives is that they simply don’t ask for what they want. People are actually terrible at predicting whether someone will agree to any given request. Underperformers fail to ask all the time. They let fear of judgements or rejection prevent them from speaking up, asking for help, trying to lead. This means that they set aside their dreams for judgments that probably don’t even exist.
When you ask for something don’t ask once and quit. The more you ask and share our ideas, the more people become familiar and comfortable with you requests, and the more they start to like the idea. Next to asking for things leaders also ask a lot of questions because they know that people support what they create. When people contribute ideas, they have mental skin in the game. They want to back the ideas they helped shape. You can double your ability to influence others by giving before you ask something. Don’t worry about a giving burnout because a burnout is more an issue of poor energy management and low clarity then of over giving.
If you’re the one who appreciates people the most, you’re the most appreciated. Since so many people feel ostracized, unappreciated, or undervalued, when you show up and give genuine praise, respect, and appreciation, you stand out.
The Difference Makers
To gain influence with other you need to do three things: (1) teach them how to think about themselves, others, and the world, (2) challenge them to develop their character, connections, and contributions, (3) role model the values you wish to see them embody.
- Which two persons positively influenced you the most. What, specifically, made each person so influential to you:
- What was the greatest lesson each person thought you about life:
- What values or traits did they inspire you to embody in your own life:
Framing how other should thinking what we all do in real life, usually without realizing it. Consider how many times you have said: think of it this way, what do you think about, what would happen if you tried. You were trying to elicit an idea or guide their thinking. In doing so, you were gaining influence even though our probably didn’t think so. You must practice this to be more deliberate and make it a habit. There are a couple of things you want your people thinking about: how the world works, what it needs, where its headed, and how certain actions might affect it.
- Someone in my life I would like to influence more is:
- The way I would like to influence them is:
- If I could tell them how they should think of themselves, I would say:
- If I could tell them how they should think of other people, I would say:
- If I could tell them how they should think of the world in general, I would say:
Challenge people to grow
High performs consistently challenge other to raise the bar. But it int about confrontation, it’s about issuing subtle or direct positive challenges to motivate others to excel. If your intentions are clearly to help someone grow and become better, and you speak to them with respect and honor, then your challenges will inspire better action.
Challenging someone’s character may sound confrontation, but in practice it’s supportive, helpful gift. Challenging someone to develop more character can happen in subtler ways, through indirect challenge. Asking someone, “How would you best self-approach this situation?” The direct approach of asking people to think of ow they challenge themselves is to ask, “what kind of person do you want to be remembered as?”
- The person I am trying to influence has the following character traits:
- He could become a stronger person if he:
- He is probably too hard on himself in this area:
- If I could tell him how to improve who he is, I would tell him:
- If I could inspire him to want to be a better person, I would probably say something like:
High performing leaders call out anyone who’s is being inappropriate rude, or dismissive of someone else on their team. They challenge hoe others deal with their relations. They set expectations, ask questions, give examples, or directly ask them to improve how they treat and add value to their people. High performs want to help you experience greater unity with others because they know that will increaser your results.
- The way I want this person to interact differently with others is to:
- Often this person doesn’t connect as well with others as I would like, because he:
- What would inspire this person to treat other people better is to:
In challenging others in their contribution, you push them to add more value or be more generous. They challenge others to contribute more looking ahead- to create or innovate so that they can make the future better. There is no one-size-fits-all solution approach to pushing people to contribute. Instead they challenge individuals specifically. They go desk to desk and challenge each person on their team.
- The greatest contribution this person is making:
- The areas where this person isn’t contributing well enough are:
- What I really want this person to contribute more of is:
Role model the way
High performers want to be a good role model for their family, the team, and the greater community. They aren’t just seeking to be a good person general. They go a step further and think about how to act so that others might follow them or help them achieve a specific outcome. What makes them high performers is the laser-focused intention ton how they can act in a way that gets someone to improve who they are or achieve a specific result. There’s just something magical that happens in our life when we let all the drama go and decide to ask how we can be role models again.
The people around high performers don’t feel manipulated. They feel trusted, respected, and inspired. Manipulators burn all bridges and find themselves disconnected, unsupported, and alone. They find no long-term success with relationships or their own well-being. Of those that have achieved long-term success, far more are role models than manipulators.
- If I were going to approach my relationships and career as an even better role model, the first things I would start doing are:
- Someone who really need me to lead and be a strong role model right now is:
- Some ideas on how I can be a role models for these people are:
- If, ten years from now, the five closest people to me in my life were to describe me as a role mode, I would hope they said things like:
habit six: DEMONSTRATE COURAGE
The kinds of courageous acts that you are proud of at the end of your life are those where you faced uncertainty and real risk, where the stakes method, when you did something for a cause or person beyond yourself, without any Assurance of safety, reward, or success. Sometimes, a person’s first step is courageous no matter what you think of it. Demonstrating courage doesn’t mean you have to save the world or do something grandiose. Sometimes it means taking a first step towards real change in an unpredictable world. What is abundantly clear is that high performers report taking action despite fear much more than others do. Courage is more like a skill, since anyone can learn it. And once you understand and demonstrate it more consistently, everything Changes. Courage is not fearlessness it is taking action and persisting despite that fear. The more experience you have facing your fear, the less fear and stress you feel. Courage, turns out, is contagious, just like panic or cowardice. There are different kinds of courage such as physical, morrow, psychological, every day. Physical courage is when you put yourself in harms way to meet a noble goal. Moral courage is speaking up for others or enduring hardship for what you believe is right, to serve the greater good. Psychological courage is the act of facing or overcoming anxieties, insecurities, and mental fears to assert your authentic self instead of conforming. Hi performance have a bias towards action even when that actions outcome is scary, risky, or uncertain. They don’t have courage or find it through contact. Action walk their heart, and their path was revealed. It’s never too late to change course. Don’t complain, just act. High performers no what they are afraid of, so they prepare themselves. They studied, what mentors, and face their fears head on. Only when our fears become our growth plan have we stepped onto the path of mastery.
Honor the struggle
A lot of people deflect went they asked dick on you habits by saying they’re too busy or too fearful. They just don’t understand the one act of courage is better than 100 vision boards. It’s an issue of mindset. We must learn to honor the struggle. We’re surrounded by memes and media and influencers telling us we are not supposed to travel, that life should just be an easy flow, or we are on the wrong track. Hi performance have developed a mindset that anticipates the struggle, welcomes the struggle, leverages the struggle in 2 Reasons to give more. It’s important to have a growth mindset which is a belief you can improve, lava challenge, and engage with difficulty rather than run from it. Those with a fixed mindset believe and behave the opposite. They feel that a mistake or error makes them look incompetent. If something is an easy, they give up. Accepting the difficult times will come allows you to wake with a sense of realism and Readiness, to anticipate problems and be prepared for them, to maintain calm when the winds of change might top up lesser leaders. Even when you feel overwhelmed, choose to go for a walk, focus on your breath, confront the problem rather than avoided. Luke the problem in the eye. The universe is abundant and giving, so you can trust the good things are coming your way come on within yourself and the future. Remember, you are stronger than you think, and the future holds good things for you.
- A struggle I’ve been facing in my life is:
- The way I could change my view of this struggle is:
- If something great could come from this struggle, it would be:
- The way I choose to greet life’s inevitable hardships from today forward is:
Share your truth and ambitions
Our spirits soar when we feel unencumbered by fear or the weight of conformity. When we live our truth – expressing who we really are, how we really feel, what we really desire and dream of- then we are authentic, we are free. Requires courage. Showing the world who you are, authentically and unapologetically, brings a great deal of risk. Don’t seek the approval of doubters. If you believe in your dream stay on your path. You need no permission beyond that tingling hope in your soul. Holding back, it’s not humility: It’s lying. It is your lack of voice or vulnerability or power, not others lack of understanding or ambition, that is building the Barricade to your potential. Share moor, can you have real relationships that can support you, energize you, do you. Don’t be afraid that people will be threatened by your desire and your drive. Thinking they might make fun of you and, keeping quiet and downgrading your ambitions is an act of Fear. Holding back will wait on your mind and your life with stress. It will cheat the people around you from ever discovering your true beauty and abilities. Worse, it will prevent the right people from coming into your life. They will thank you for sharing, being real, for trusting them. To find even more courage, remind yourself that you always to those who have supported you in the past. Right. It is revealing to others a little bit more what you’re thinking, feeling, dreaming of. Ultimately, you must ask which your life is about: Fear or Freedom? What choice is the case. The other that’s courage.
- Something I really want to do that I haven’t shared with enough people is:
- If I were going to be more “me” in my everyday life, I would start to:
- When I put myself out there and someone makes fun of me. I’m just going to:
- A major dream I’m going to start telling people about and asking for help with is:
Find someone to fight for
We will do more for others than for herself. And in doing something for others, find a reason for courage, and a course for Focus and excellence. Sometimes courage seems to be a spontaneous act but it’s usually an expression of something that has been built up from years of caring deeply about something or someone. So, begin seeking things and people you care about. Care deeply about something now. Stand up for something now. And then you will be more likely to find courage when it matters.
- A courageous action I will take this week because some I love needs me to take is:
- Another courageous actions I will take this week, because a cause I believe in needs me to take it, is:
- Another courageous action I will take this week, because my dream requires it of me, is”:
Courage through complexity
Live doesn’t tend to get easier. But you get stronger. So, no matter what happens, trust in yourself and lean forward. The next level opens after your next courageous step. After more and more of those steps, you will look back with self-respect. Only by conditioning ourselves now will we truly serve with grace and courage when we are called upon.
- What in my personal life have I avoided doing, which might involve hardship but just might improve my family’s life forever:
- What could I do at work that would require stepping out on a limb but would also truly change things for the better and help people:
- What decision could I make that would demonstrate a moral commitment to something higher than myself:
- How could I bring myself to face a situation that usually makes me nervous and anxious:
- What change could I make that’s scares me but will help someone I love:
- What could thing could I walk away from my life to advance:
- What have I wanted to say to those close to me, and when and how will I courageously declare that truth:
- Who needs me, and who will I fight for the rest of this year:
Your future best self
If your future best self- a version of you ten years older, who is even stronger, more capable, and more successful than you imagined yourself to be- showed up on your doorstep today and looked at your current circumstances, what courageous action would that future self-advice you to take right away to change your life? How would your future self-tell you to live?
High Performance Killers
The chapter is about failure, about the fall from grace, when high performers get so good that they forget what made them successful. What did not cause them to fail is: Fear, competence, the people, creativity, motivation, resources. The real traps are internal. Negative patterns of thinking, feeling, and behavior that slowly kill our humanity, zest, and well-being. The traps are superiority, dissatisfaction, and neglect.
When you are succeeding beyond others, it’s easy to get a big head. Even though you might not be demonstrating bombastic ego, there are 100 shades on degrees of superiority. Here’s how to know when superiority has who created your mind: (1) you think you’re better than another personal group,(2) you don’t feel you need feedback, since, diverse viewpoints, or support,(3) you feel that you’re automatically deserve people’s admiration or compliance, (4) you feel that people don’t understand you and your failures are not your fault. Discounting others doesn’t make you a greater person; you are choosing to be more separate, ultimately making yourself more vulnerable to failure. There are really high performers will think they’re at the top. Most feel like they’re just getting started. In almost all studies on expert performance, amazing thing that made the difference was not the person’s talents, but the hours of exposure and deliberate practice. You were once a mess, 2, or did you forget already? But your improved. Give others that same opportunity. When you start seeing others as wrong or inadequate for life, then you have fallen so far into the trap of superiority that you are in danger of destroying your connection with others, and your ability to lead. You need to develop habits that will help you stay humble and open even as you get better at what you do. Humidity is based on a willingness to admit gaps in current knowledge and the tendency to feel guilty after wrongdoing. You can stay humble by using the five following practices. (1) deliberately seek others ideas for improving anything you do. (2) If you can’t hire someone, find a mentor and meet twice a month. Consistency in receiving feedback is the homework of consistent growth. (3) remind yourself the trust is earned through caring for others, not bragging about yourself. (4) after a conflict, a self am I trying to make excuses or play the victim to protect my ego? (5) remind yourself of your blessings because gratitude and humidity are mutually reinforcing. Never forget, can perceive you to be superior reminded when you don’t and gage with them, even if it’s not your true intent or spirit.
- A recent situation where I found myself being overly critical or dismissive of others was:
- The thoughts I had about myself in that situation and the other involved are:
- Had I reimagined the situation from a more humble and appreciative view, I would have probably realized:
- The best way I can remind myself that everyone is dealing with difficulties in life and that we’re all more alike than we are different is:
High performers are in fact happier than most people. This is satisfied and well rewarded in their careers. There’s this wrong idea that we should never be satisfied with our work because satisfaction would somehow lead to complacency. Those were never satisfied or Never at peace. They can tune into the zone- the noise of a dissatisfied mine prevents them from finding a rhythm that makes them feel alive and effective. Dissatisfaction causes them to obsess about the negative, living in turn to a habit of missing must working, meaning to praise or appreciate others. I never settle mentality also makes them discard too quickly what’s in front of them. And they don’t have real appreciation or memory of achievement forest in their mind, so that they are just busy and empty ghosts. It’s easy to be dissatisfied, noticing what’s wrong in a situation is a habit of evolution, the negative bias, the never-ending put errors and anomalies which help our species survive. But in Modern Life the simple does not help and only causes suffering. By seeking positive emotions and experiences we enhance our learning and ability to see new opportunities. Being satisfied doesn’t mean settling. It simply means accepting and taking pleasure in what is. People who feel a sense of play perform better almost in every field of endeavor. Flow and play are gateways to mastery. These things are even important when you’re a leader because it affects how others feel around you. You can start early at the end of the day will you write three things that went well. Can get your family or team together once a week for no other reason than to talk about what’s working. Some start each meeting by asking others to share one great thing that has happened that can give the team a sense of joy, pride, and fulfillment.
- The areas of my life I’ve felt consistently dissatisfied with include:
- Some good things that have happened in those areas include:
- Something I can say to myself the next time I feel dissatisfied, to get me to notice good things and continue moving forward, is:
- Someone who probably sees me dissatisfied more than I want them to is:
- If I were going to inspire them to believe you can enjoy life as you work hard and succeed, I would have to change these behaviors:
- The areas of my life I’ve felt consistently dissatisfied with include:
Neglect sneak up on you. Fashion or business blinds you to what’s important, just long enough for things to fall apart. Neglect can be categorized into obliviousness and over reaching. Obliviousness means you are so focused in one area that you are completely unaware of the growing problems in another. The solution is to keep perspective in Life by keeping an eye on the quality or progress of the major life arenas. Used the Sunday review where this Arenas are set out in 10 distinct categories. The goal is to review consistently at least once a week. Overreaching stems from his side table desire for more, coupled with the unreleased accent what is possible in a short time frame, which leads to over commitment. Hence the importance of reminding yourself that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Slow down come on more strategic, say no more often. Don’t overcome it yours just because you’re good at what you do. No keeps you focused. Strategic Thinking mean stripping things down to the essentials and planning the accomplishment out over months and years. Ask yourself the question: Am I continue to do the things that have made me successful? All these issues are a question of how you allocate your attention.
- An area where I am neglecting someone or something important in my life is:
- An area where that neglect will cause me regret later is:
- An area where I can now return my focus, reallocating my attentions to things that matter is:
- Some areas in my life I feel overcommitted right now are:
- The things I need to learn to say no to more often are:
- An opportunity I really want to chase right now that I could schedule to revisit in few months is:
- The main things moving the needle towards my success that I should be focused on right now, despite all the other exciting interests and opportunities I could chase, are:
- The way I’ll remind myself not to take on too much is:
The #1 thing
Confidence is the secret ingredient that make you rise to the challenge. When someone is more confident, they consistently have greater clarity, energy, productivity, influence, necessity, and courage. The confidence, or so-called self-efficiency, help us avoid burnout. Hi performance simply think about things that give them more confidence than others do. They also do things that give them more confidence than others do. And the avoid things that drain confidence more than others do. There are three areas which can help you with your confidence, the so-called 3 C’s: Competence, congruence, and connection.
The idea here is a more competent you get at any given task, the more confident you become in trying it more often, and the more you stretch yourself. It’s important to know that you were not born confident, get confident by working on the competence-confidence loop. High performers are learner’s, and their belief that they can learn what is necessary to win in future gives them as much confidence as the current skill set. Having learnt so many things in the past, they trust they can do it again. In other words, the competency that matters is that ability to become competent. Hi performance also gain more confidence by ruminating on past successes and learning more from them than others do. On the performers really reflect on their lessons learnt, and if they do, they are too hard on themselves. They just don’t let themselves feel the win. It’s important that you begin a practice of reflecting on your progress and your new learning.
- The competences- knowledge, skills, abilities, or talents – that I have worked hard to cultivate in my life include:
- If I gave myself credit for learning all those things, I would start to feel more:
- Something I’ve learned to do in the past few years that I have not yet given myself credit for is:
- I feel that I can handle a big challenge in my life right now because I am good at learning how to:
- A practice I’ll begin doing every week to help me start feeling more confident is:
- The competences- knowledge, skills, abilities, or talents – that I have worked hard to cultivate in my life include:
At the core of congruence are questions about how we are really living our life, not just imagining it. It’s hard to be congruent. We can be aggressive in one situation, the feel to be assertive when it counts. To feel more congruent, so, will have to be more conscious about who we are and what kind of life we want to live. We will have to be conscious in crafting and maintaining our identity. High performers don’t wait for others to define who they ought to be. They take control amazing moments in the Life, find who they want to be, f. Living in accordance with that self-image. They wake up each day and have a clear intention who they really want to be, then they go out into the world and give that intention real Focus and energy. Confidence comes from being truthful with yourself and others. You have to avoid the little lies that can easily tear at the Fabric of your character.
- The person I really want to be in life could be described as:
- Three things I could do each week to live more congruently with that vision for myself include:
- Three things I should definitely stop doing in my life, so I can live greater congruence with my ideal image of myself are:
A recent study over 900 CEOs found the just over half of the highest performing were introverts. High performers have learnt the tremendous value in relating with others. By connecting with others, they learn more about themselves and the world. That hit of learning is what gives them so much drive to engage. If you can summon curiosity talk to enough people with that intention, you will gain confidence. Confidence comes less from projection than from connection. The underlying themes of the 3 C’s are curiosity. You don’t have to pretend to be superhuman. You just have to care enough to learn new things, to live in alignment with who you want to become, to take interest in others.
- The main reason I want to become better with people is:
- I know I’ll become more confident with people when I:
- To gain more confidence with people, from now on when I talk with them, I’ll think to myself:
Short summary HB6
- Seek clarity on who you want to be, how you want to interact with others, and what will bring meaning into your life.
- Generate Energy so you can sustain focus, effort, and well-being. To stay on you’re A-gam, you’ll need to care actively for mental stamina, physical energy, and positive emotions.
- Raise necessity of your level of performance. This means actively tapping into the reasons you must perform well, based on a mix of your internal standards (e.g., your identity, beliefs, values, or expectations for excellence) and external demands (e.g., social obligations, competition, public commitments).
- Increase productivity in your primary field of interest. Specifically, you’ll need to focus on” prolific quality output” (PQO) in the area in which you want to be known and to drive impact. You’ll also have to minimize distractions (or opportunities) that steal your attention from creating PQO.
- Develop influence with those around you so you can get them to believe in and support your efforts and ambitions. Without a positive support network, major achievements over the long haul are all impossible.
- Demonstrate courage by expressing your ideas, taking bold actions, and standing up for yourself and others even in the face of fear, uncertainty, or changing conditions.